30 Mar Becoming Present to Sensations: a Practice for Women
Over the years that I have been helping women learn to receive the pleasure that they crave, one thing I have discovered is that it needs to start with them: not with their lover, but with themselves. Read on for a helpful practice to tune into your own experience by getting out of your head and into your body.
This is a simple but very effective process to start rewiring our bodies to pleasure. The practice involves learning to listen to sensations as information.
• Sit or lie down comfortably. If you are prone to falling asleep while meditating then find a time when you are not so tired and remain seated. Close your eyes and just bring your attention to the breath moving in your body.
• Lick your lips and feel the sensation of breath moving over your lips, passing through your mouth and throat into your lungs while feeling the expansion and contraction of lungs and rib cage as you breathe.
• Let yourself get interested in the sensations you notice, especially in your chest.
• Move your awareness through your body, from your chest down your arms to your hands. Notice whatever sensations are there. Move your awareness down to your belly, your pelvis, your womb space. See if you can feel the connection between your pelvis, down through your legs and feet to the floor. Also be aware of your head, spine and pelvis.
• Be curious of the sensations inside your body, let your awareness roam.
• Rest in this, savour this, surrender to this.
• When you feel ready, open your eyes, keep a soft focus, stay with what is naturally happening, move with this happening, see if you can carry this awareness throughout your day.
This process of conscious embodiment is a key element to getting to know yourself better, to be more able to receive pleasure and to connect to your innate ability to feel.
An example story of pleasure beyond pain
Sarah (not real name) came to me suffering from vaginismus, and was distressed that she couldn’t be intimate with her partner. She had been given dilators by her doctor but was too afraid to use them because of the pain. We worked through the time that it had begun, what had happened in her body, and what pattern the muscles had been locked into.
I shared ways in which she could, step by step, meet the fear and emotions including self-massage to relax the muscles. She worked daily with the dilators in between our sessions and her husband also got involved supporting her on this journey.
Sarah now has the freedom to make love. It took her time and patience and a willingness to face the emotions around experiencing this condition but she did it. This created a lot more confidence in other aspects of her life too.
Interested in going deeper? You can book a 1-1 with me or check out my upcoming retreats.